


no, i'll never fall in love again

by ironccap



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Andrés de Fonollosa is mentioned, Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Palermo, Letters, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Sad, who is Martín Berrote
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:30:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25470136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironccap/pseuds/ironccap
Summary: Martín visits Argentina again and finds a very important letter there. From himself. To himself.He decides to answer his past self's questions.It's therapeutic. And much needed.
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote
Comments: 16
Kudos: 41





	no, i'll never fall in love again

Hello there, older me

It feels weird to write this. A letter to my older self. But I've heard that it can be therapeutic to do, so I guess I'll just do it, then.

I hope you graduated as an engineer. I hope you finally got the job you dreamed of. Probably not. Well, there's always work as a robber _. (That's a joke, don't actually do that.)_

I hope you learnt to forget about what happened at home. I hope you realised that it wasn't your fault. That it was good to cut ties with Mom. _(And that it's okay if you never visited Dad's grave again.)_

I hope you are happy, now. You weren't before. I hope you got the life you deserved. You always wanted to go to Italy. _(Do you still want that? probably. You were obsessed with that country when you were younger. But honestly, deep down you just wanted to get as far away as possible from home.)_

I hope you found love. But not the kind of 'love' that lasts for a few days. That's not love, and you deserve better than that. _(I hope you know that now.)_ I hope you found your soulmate. Someone to share every little thing with, to complete you. _(To give you a better life.)_

Someone worth living for. 

I hope you realised you're worth it. _(You are!)_ You deserve to be happy. _(To be yourself, to be free.)_

I hope you learned to love yourself. _(If not, you'll get there.)_

I hope you got all you ever dreamt of having. 

\- younger you, Martín Berrote (23 7 2009) 

* * *

Hello, younger me

I found this letter back when I visited Argentina again. It's weird to be back, well, here. This place reminds me of the best and the worst things, all at once. 

I did graduate, actually. _(Mom wasn't at the graduation, but it's not like I thought she would be.)_ And you're correct, there's a lot of work as a robber. _(I wish I could see your face now. Well, that's impossible, since I'm talking to my past self. Anyway.)_

I know it wasn't my fault. But it still hurts. I thought Mom would be different. Than him. She wasn't. _(But I visited her grave anyway. Not Dad's, though. Never.)_

I live in Palermo now. It's even more beautiful in real life than on the pictures. I used to live somewhere else, though. In a monastery. But I left. _(The reason why I left is similar to why I left home. Too many painful memories.)_

I didn't want to die anymore. I was happy. _(I really was.)_ That's all I'll say on that matter. _(I don't want to stain the paper with my tears.)_

I found love. Isn't it beautiful? I couldn't believe it either. _(It was wonderful.)_ He was a god. He was mine, my beautiful artist. He called me his soulmate. We fit against each other so well. _(He was the fitting piece to my unfinished puzzle.)_

He gave me a purpose. I lived. For him, because of him, with him. He made me feel alive. Made me feel worth it. 

Like I said before, I was happy. _(I was so happy.)_

He made me love myself, in every possible way. And I believed him! For once, I believed someone who complimented me. Because he was always honest. _(Maybe he was too honest.)_

Yes. I got all I ever wanted, all I ever dreamt of. Because he gave it to me. I was happy. I found love. He made me feel alive. He _kissed_ me. 

But then he broke me. In every possible way. He left. But someone has to leave first. Someone always has to. So he did. 

And he took a part of me with him. _(Which is understandable, we were one.)_

We had melted into each other a long time ago.

I'll leave it to that. 

I can't write anything else. _(My eyes are blurred with tears.)_

Goodbye.

\- Martín Berrote (23 7 2020)

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> You can always follow me on my [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/hannib4l). 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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